• Three crystal gemstone bracelets on a white background. They are a mixture of green and grey colours.
  • A pink coloured background with a white card bearing the description of a crystal gemstone bracelet, and a round green aventurine quartz bead bracelet, positioned below and to the right of the card.
  • A periwinkle coloured background with a white card bearing the description of a crystal gemstone bracelet, and a round hawk's eye bead bracelet, positioned below and to the right of the card.
  • A yellow coloured background with a white card bearing the description of a crystal gemstone bracelet, and a round malachite bead bracelet, positioned below and to the right of the card.
  • A vertical stack of 8 green crystal gemstone bracelets, positioned on a white block.
  • A crystal selenite gemstone bracelet on a white background. There is a square, pink jewellery pouch and a black and white card describing the benefits of the gemstone. There are delicate shadows made by a palm frond.
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9 to 5 Nightmare

9 to 5 Nightmare

$87
$97 $87
Sale Sold out
Shipping calculated at checkout.
Money Bags (Size)
Quad Espresso (Size)
So Long, Trent (Size)

If quitting your job isn't an option, try one of our magical crystal bracelet stacks instead. Featuring essentials from our Workplace Trauma collection, wear these professional-looking gemstones at the office and smile knowingly when your knobhead boss compliments you on jewellery inspired by their incompetence...and the gaping chasm between your salary and Useless Bob’s even though you literally have the same title and responsibilities. Urgh.

Each bracelet comes individually packaged with its own story card relating to why working in a late-stage capitalism economy is destroying everyone’s mental health. Keep them all to yourself or maybe give one to your work bestie who suffers alongside you and is the only reason you’ve not already thrown a chair through a window.

Details

Upgrade your career prospects with this curated collection of…

Money Bags (green aventurine quartz)
Quad Espresso (hawk’s eye)
So Long, Trent (malachite)

Each bracelet is made of pretty, shiny crystal beads about ~10mm in size and strung on stretch cord with which you could also strangle annoying coworkers. (For legal purposes, this is a joke.)

Each bracelet comes packaged in either a pink or yellow pouch. If you have a preference, please specify in the cart notes because we truly want to make you happy but can’t read minds.

Sizing

SM fits a wrist that measures 14-16cm/5.5-6.2”. LX fits a wrist 16-18cm/6.2-7.0”. If you’re somewhere in-between, we recommend sizing up for a looser fit.

Care

These bracelets are made of semi-precious gemstones and like your favourite Swingline stapler require a small amount of care and attention. Best leave them off for water-adjacent activities like doing the dishes in the shared office kitchen because nobody bothered to clear up after themselves again. (Also it’s time to stop taking on that invisible labour, bestie.)

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